So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize