A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
