We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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