I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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