Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
