I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize