You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
