Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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