please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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