# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
