May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
