I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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