Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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