Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
