drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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