i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I will be naked everywhere
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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