At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
