Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
