I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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