She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Come see our sink grown plant.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
