No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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