I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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