How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Dear god my vagina.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
