I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Randomize
