my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Sober January is a disaster.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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