So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
