this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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