You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
