Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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