I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
