North Korea, Best Korea!
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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