The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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