i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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