her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
