dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
