i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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