Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
