I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
3pm strippers are depressing
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
