halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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