She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
