if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
