Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I had to cum in my sink.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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