Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
