am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
