I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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