just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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