can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
