I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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