Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
