i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
