They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
