i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There r osticjed everywhere
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We had sex on a dog bed..
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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