what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
COCAINE IS GR8
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
