Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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