it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
