Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just pynch a tree in the face
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
its liver damage thursday
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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