I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
