Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
