There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
